Wednesday, May 30, 2012

the burbs. just fine.

*I am going to dance recitals and Little League games and helping lead a Girl Scout Troop and going to book club.  I am the quintessential suburban mom.  It was never my intent, it just happened.  It's life.  And life is good.
 My girl can dance and my boy can pitch and I can read.
My life is just fine.

*Every once and awhile a good idea hits me that I feel the need to share.
In the bag: Ballet shoes, costume accessories, recital program, pressed flowers and good luck card.   Sealed and dated!

She was given the choice:
1. You can wear recital costume and run the risk of getting it dirty or ripped.
2. We can protect the recital costume and one day when you are much older we will have your picture taken in front of all your dance costumes.

She picked #2, which leads me to believe that we are dance lifers.  
My hope is we can do this every year and when those senior pictures come around a decade plus from now we can hang them on a rack and chronicle her history in one picture.
That is if she sticks to dance.
If she doesn't it will be preserved for her daughter.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

the center

It's funny isn't. The fact that she goes from five to fifteen in like two milliseconds flat. "I just needs my space" she said. I imagine this is what it will be like on a continual basis in about seven to nine years. Now I just see it in bits and spurts. I am being prepped for what my life will become. Because as quickly as she turns fifteen she goes back to five. And that is how I like her. A sweet, cuddly five-year-old who still fits in the center of my lap.
 And we'd dance to this song. In the living room when she wobbled on two little feet. Around in circles laughing.

Monday, May 21, 2012

the middle

It all can happen so fast, can't it?  One day you are holding them, feeding them from your breast and then the next moment they are begging to go solo.  To the park that is.  With friends of course.  How did this happen?  Where was that good stuff in the middle? 
The middle part where they still needed you.  The middle where being with you was good enough.  And all was right with the world as long as you were by his side.
I feel like it went to fast.  That somehow for a split second I closed my eyes and it was gone.
The middle is the best part.  And somehow I feel like I didn't get to savor it as much as I would have liked to.
Everyday I wish I can stop time.  And slow down the process of growing-up and changing.
Because once he was a little boy.
And now he is a little man.

Is it funny that I whispered this song in his ear as I rocked him it sleep....

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Some would say that blogging is a pointless self-indulgent past time.  They might be right.  To me I am honing my writing skills.  Some day they might be put to good use.  They are being put to good use right now.
If the only thing I get out of blogging is the ability to write something that has a big impact in the fewest amount of words, well I'd say my time blogging was a huge success.

Loves and Kisses,

Did you hear/see this?  I have a love/hate relationship with Florence.  I hear her songs and love them then I get pissed at myself for being so pathetically dramatic, that's the hate part.
Plus it kind of makes me want to see the movie in the theater and I NEVER want to see the movie in the theater...

 And I know Charlize is way prettier than Kristen but now you missed the whole point of Snow White. It's about inner beauty asshole.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Shake it out but don't shake it off

I am listening to this song on endless loop right now.  It is my battle cry for the day.  I imagine myself a little Sally Fields and a bit of a non-racist Mel Gibson in a kilt.
I have been up since 3:00 am preparing what I am going to say.  And how I am going to say it.  And how its important that I get the first word.  Because I have listened and cooperated and given the benefit.  Today it ends.  Today I am a beast.  A warrior.
 A mother warrior.
It started with tears.  There is always tears, but the word that followed set something off in me so visceral.  I did not take a second to consider anything but....ANYTHING BUT protecting my young.
First let me state that I have always ALWAYS made a point in making sure my children face the consequence of their actions.  The famous line "do the crime, do the time" is famous in my home.  But this is different.
After the teacher told me the consequence of writing '5 Things' he likes about a  teacher I was fine with it.  "Do it before baseball or there is no baseball."  Is what I told him.  'Think before you act' is what I said to him.  But when the tears came and he told me that the '5 things' would be hung in the cafeteria, on display for the school to see- well that was the spark that lit the fire in me.
I am all for consequence but I refuse to believe that public humiliation is a humane form of punishment.
Humane for a child.  A child that was said in a meeting.... a meeting that we ALL sat in to work on and understand his issues socially and the anxiety that went along with it.
 Humiliation for a child who struggles socially and with anxiety as a acceptable form of punishment is something I will never understand.  And more importantly is something I am not okay with
And the worse part is that not just one of those people that sat there in that room when "anxiety" and "social issues" was discussed went along with this inhumane punishment, but three.
Right now I am shaking out the residual anger that might get in the way of my main point.  I am shaking out the hurt I feel and focusing on the hurt that he feels and I am letting that drive me.
I am ready for battle.  Wish me luck.

And my words come back to me.  It's worth the effort.  It is  a big  deal.  And there is no good reason.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Things you Don't Know

I have a lot of first world problems.  They always seem to find me.  I am just unlucky that way.  Because they are first world that makes me somewhat lucky I guess.  

Things you might not know about me:
1. You know pretty much everything.  Dig through my archives you will find it all.

2. Well you might not know that I am a yeller.  I hate that about myself.  When I get pissed the whole world has to know it.  It comes right from the belly and comes out my fingers in slams and bang.  My cabinets and doors are terrified of me. 

3. I decided to go gluten-free.  I haven't shared that yet.  It is a personal choice, with some medical concerns.  After being on it for four months and feeling good it's hard to imagine going off it.  I cheat from time to time and sometimes pay the price.  Do you know what it's like to have to pass up cake and cookies?   "Oh no!  No cake for me I'll just have this apple."  But when you poop and actually feel relieve instead of feeling your gut twisting from the inside out it's a good thing.
It is an adjustment.  For sure.

4. Oh and and .... I am now the Co-leader of a Daisy troop.  This happened because I can't say no and I am somewhat crafty in a five-year-old sort of way.  They got me hook, line and sinker.

Now you know everything oh except I love this song and I want to be these gals bestie...

Friday, May 11, 2012

Monday, May 7, 2012


My house is turning into Disney central.  Major.  We talk, eat and breathe Disney right now.  My children are  saving their pennies for their very first trip there.  They Youtube Disney rides to figure out which ones to ride and which ones to skip.  The girl watches clips of little girls meeting princesses.   This makes me glad we waited till they were older, they really are invested in this trip.
We also have a ballet recital coming up and the song the girl is dancing to just so happens to be from a Disney movie.  We listen and practice dancing to it everyday.  That leads to listening to other songs and that leads to wanting to watch a particular Disney movie.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
All this Princess stuff raises the question that plagues all moms with little girls; Am I setting up her up with  unrealistic expectations?  Do I want her growing up thinking a man is going to save her?
You know the whole debate so I am not going to bore you with the details.
Really there is no debate with my daughter,she is a bit independent minded.   The first time she actually watched a Princess movie from start to finish something happened to calm the raging argument in my head.
I saw her face as Ariel and Prince Eric kissed and were wed.  It was a sight.  Arms crossed.  Rage in her  eyes.   "Married!  I hate married!"   The very idea that Ariel gave up her mermaid tail for a man was so disturbing to my little four year old.  She couldn't comprehend such a travesty.  A  year later she still can't.  Marriage is not even a possibility now.  Which I know will change possible one day.  Right now she wants to live with me forever and travel the world.
I let her believe this is the way it will be.  Who am I to squash her dreams?


I never knew much about my Grandfather's job.  I knew he was a police officer.  A Sergeant on the Chicago Police Force.  When he came ho...