12.29.21

How I wish I had something good to report 

But she is gone

And I am sad. 

That is all that needs to be said.

12.5

 

My earth sign is fire.

I often wonder if I should put stock

In the idea of signs and stars

And how the planets align

But when I come to the water

My body calms

I can breathe 

Water soothes

These moments I believe

The opposites of earth 

Bring peace to our souls.

11.27

 Holding on to the good

Even if moments bring us down

Fortunate to be in a good place 

And trying to hold up those

Who aren't so lucky.

11.23

 Challenges

I keep singing that song tonight.

They are good.

It's a shot at putting the past behind

Starting fresh

Letting go of hurts

And becoming something

You always wanted to become.

11-22

 The waiting is the hardest part

The not knowing

The fear of rejection

Jumping into something new

Letting go

And being vulnerable 

Trying to let go

Of the worry

11.2

 

There is a little bit more confidence in where I stand

A pride.

But a fear

That this too can be fleeting

Not so confident after all.

I took a walk and felt relief. Breathing in the last of a season that had so many ups and downs. There is a solid ground.  I pray to keep this balance.

10.22

 

I wake before the sun

And sleep after the first star awakens

This is where I want to be

Amongst the frost

The barren trees

Life is on pause

But it still goes on.

10.18

 

These full circle moments lend themselves to me.

I am the witness and the executor.

All the battles, the tears, the losses.

We have come to the other side.

We break bread at a table and share his memory.

We absorb the music on the floor of her room.

We enjoy our company and share dreams.

Oh if I could stay in this space forever.

This full circle will surround me 

And make me whole again.

10.17

I find myself here from time to time

The stillness surronds 

and there is a quiet

To see who once was a

Son of

Daughter of

Husband of

Wife of.

Some stones glisten, a sign of care and newness

Then the stones that can't be read

Stone wore smooth from the wind and rain

but ultimitaly a consequnece of the time.

All of it a consequence of time.

A guilt can wash over

No one here belongs to me

And I belong to no one.

but somehow I believe

that just a whisper of a name

somehow gives life again.

 

10.13

 I was wondering when it will all come to pass

There is a lesson in this

Or maybe two or three

And once I think I understand

I doubt myself

It easier to joke and make fun of

The fate life has thrown. 

Acceptance seems like a bargain

I am not willing to accept.

10.12

 If there is a good day 

With nothing to write about 

I am placated by normalcy 

And feel this feeling is nothing 

To write home about .

Or hear about. 

Maybe tomorrow's drama

Will lend itself to an insight

I so desperately need

Or a realization that

Maybe I am right where I am 

Suppose to be.