Retro Redo

I have this weird thing for retro ads. Inappropriate retro ads.  Sexist, inappropriate retro ads.  They are so sad they are funny.
Mostly it is knowing we've come along way baby.
I had a little fun re-doing one of those old ad, giving it a update for modern times. 
 The Old:

The New:

Thank you to Rebecca at Raccoon School for the challenge.

Thoughts

~Some mornings I sleep till seven am.  My body jerks awake, a mental alarm clock reminds me there are kids to get dressed and fed and off to school.  I rush around getting all that needs to be done done.  My body is rested enough to endure the rush. 
Some mornings I wake up early.  I can sip my coffee while watching the news and surf the net.  I sit in the silence before the rest of the day bogs me down.
There are pros and cons in sleeping in to meet the rush.  Ther is pros and cons in waking up early to enjoy the peace.  I like both.  There are times I need one over the other.  I'll take what I can get.

~I love "Boy With a Coin"  it is one of my favorite songs.  It is one of those songs that when it comes on I turn it up and listen.  I can never turn it off or switch songs.  I almost seems sacrilege.  
I love the video.
At the end of the video all the dancers watch one dancer and as she moves art is created on the floor and birds fly from her dress and I think how lucky those birds are.  To be created out of such beauty.

~No matter how hard I try to not say something I always say something and 90% of the time it makes no sense to anyone but me.  I could say a million things.  I always have to censor and filter.  Some days I walk into a empty room and say all the things that I think aloud, to no one but me.
And although this makes no sense to you it makes total and complete sense to me.

Things that I say but probably shouldn't say

I had a fight with my husband and as much as I wanted to write about it I knew I couldn't.  I hate dragging out my dirty laundry.  And as much as I wanted the validation of being right, because I was right, I still wanted someone to tell me I could be wrong.  Is that weird?  Does that make sense?  Let me rephrase:  I was right, I was so right,  right about everything I said and did but I wanted someone to tell me I wrong because I didn't want to be right.  And all you all would have told me I was right, and I just couldn't have that.
Shoo!  That takes a load off. 
The fight wasn't anything to horrid, like cheating or something that would break up a marriage.  But it was about money and money can cause a marriage to break up but it wasn't that bad.  It was about how money should be spent and how and if we have the money to spend should it be spend on what we want vs. what we need. 
Fun right?
Yeah no.  It did involve a 3 day "silent treatment" session.
I did kind of enjoy the peace.
Now that I am done being vague, I have other secrets that are keeping me from being a "full-time" blogger and I will update you soon on those.
No, I am not pregnant.
At least I don't think I am.
Oh God why did I say that?

5 reasons why I am not Blogging

1. The holiday everything is keeping me busy.
2. Putting on "THE BIGGEST FUNDRAISER OF THE YEAR" for my child's school is a lot harder then I thought.
3. Brain Farts.
4. I want to write about something, and I can't write about that something and because I want to write about that one thing and can't write about that one thing I can't think to write about anything else.
5. Helping out a friend.

Top 5 Ways to Become the Asshole of Thanksgiving

5. While showing your son-in-law the proper mechanics of a spring-form pan, trip the spring and allow the pumpkin cheese cake to fall on the floor.

4. Show up without corn-bread stuffing.

3. Come upstairs announcing that you are here to help with the clean-up just as the last dish is being washed.

2. Phone it in.

and the #1 way to be the asshole of Thanksgiving.

1. Be a wild animal getting ready for hibernation and attack the families pet chicken the night before Thanksgiving.

To the worlds greatest chicken, Ruby.  Rest in peace....

In a semi-asshole way submitted to:

Mom Gone Crazy

Of course it would come to this.
Not a drop of patience left.  Months and years.
The fighting
The arguing
The begging and pleading and praying.
What I did was send them both upstairs.
I got the garbage bags and loaded every toy on the floor and not in it proper spot in garbage bags and baskets.  Then I put those full baskets and bags in the unused bathroom and locked the door.
Ultimately the fate of those toys rests on the decision lies between the daddy and I.    But I would love your opinion too.





PS It was LIBERATING!!!!

Things that are Funny That Are Not Suppose to be Funny.

1. Vaseline Twitter Parties
2. Fiber Plus Twitter Parties
3.Fiber Plus and Vaseline twitter Parties on the same night.
4. Animal cruelty.
5. Lard.
6.. Body Scanners
7. Mommybloggers complaining about being called Mommybloggers.
8. Boycotts
9.  Photographers
10. Ron Johnson

When the mood suits me,  list submitted to:

The Great Best Cat Ever Debate

Nothing like a spirited debate on Facebook to make your day.  Facebook, as well as blogs and Twitter, allows you some anonymity for the most part.  If your family is on Facebook it is a whole new ballgame.
It is always important, if you feel strongly about something, to stand by your convictions and fight the good fight.
I had a small debate this past week with my mom, it all started with an innocent enough message to my mother.....

Let me explain.  The fact that Joey Sparkles...
1. is a he
2. has three colors in his coat
2. And his testicles dropped
Makes him a bit of an anomaly.  Most Calico male cats are sterile and don't drop their testicles.  So the fact that my cat has the certain coloring and has testicles makes him very special.  If he is a true calico is still in question, but the fact that he is tri-colored and with testes is kind of rare.
 My mom has a point though, just because my cat has a certain gender-specific organ does not make him the best cat ever.   But I was determined to make my case.
So I posted some photographic evidence...

Joey Sparkles assists with household chores, like washing dishes. BEST CAT EVER!

Not to be outdone my mom then posted this picture...

Lucy helping me make the bed....best cat EVER!!!

And this is is when the real debate began....

 I have a feeling this debate will continue.  Like all debates some things are subjective.
I will stand my ground, because I know for a fact my cat is the best cat EVER.

You're Happy Because You Eat Lard and HFCS/Corn Sugar

I saw this online and about died.  Died laughing.  It's funny.
  I imagine in 50 years my granddaughter will have a similar reaction to this..
Don't get me wrong I loves me some HFCS/corn sugar.  Sweet sweet corn sugar. 
I would bathe in lard if they let me.  Lard is good, reals good. 
But as a wise wise man* once said, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

*The wise wise man mentioned is actually my father, who also says "I'll slap you so hard you look pretty."  The wise part is debatable.

I Want To Buy Her an Orange Tree

 She sits in the car, her and I, and we listen to our favorite song.  She really thinks the song is about her, and I do nothing to make her think it's not.
"Mom, I am always dressed in white." she says
"Yes, you look lovely in white."  I reply.
She quickly answers back, "I'm like an angel...."
"..and you burn my eyes." I reply laughing.
Then I tell her "And you move like a little girl."
and she says matter-of-factly "I am a little girl."
"Yes you are." I say "I become a child, you move my world"
and that's what makes the song about her.
She so moves my world.

Back To

One of those weird songs I just love. I come back to time to time. It's nice to have things to come back to.