You're Happy Because You Eat Lard and HFCS/Corn Sugar

I saw this online and about died.  Died laughing.  It's funny.
  I imagine in 50 years my granddaughter will have a similar reaction to this..
Don't get me wrong I loves me some HFCS/corn sugar.  Sweet sweet corn sugar. 
I would bathe in lard if they let me.  Lard is good, reals good. 
But as a wise wise man* once said, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

*The wise wise man mentioned is actually my father, who also says "I'll slap you so hard you look pretty."  The wise part is debatable.