Top 5 Ways to Become the Asshole of Thanksgiving

5. While showing your son-in-law the proper mechanics of a spring-form pan, trip the spring and allow the pumpkin cheese cake to fall on the floor.

4. Show up without corn-bread stuffing.

3. Come upstairs announcing that you are here to help with the clean-up just as the last dish is being washed.

2. Phone it in.

and the #1 way to be the asshole of Thanksgiving.

1. Be a wild animal getting ready for hibernation and attack the families pet chicken the night before Thanksgiving.

To the worlds greatest chicken, Ruby.  Rest in peace....

In a semi-asshole way submitted to:


  1. Oh, yeah, these are good! So, was it your mom who dropped the cheesecake? Who forgot the stuffing?


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