I use to have a ton of blogs. I have lots of ideas and no follow-through. I deleted some of those blogs. One in particular is hard because it was just me writing stuff that I thought might offend certain people and now I don't really care about offending people. People say I am funny. The thing about being called funny is you feel like you have to be funny all the time and that is impossible. This is why the best funny people commit suicide or get into drugs or become alcoholics; too much expectation. Anyhoo, now I don't care about people and before I delete this blog, where I wrote stuff that was 'offensive', I want to keep some of the posts so I m posting them here to keep. Forever.
Right now I am watching "Jesus Christ Superstar" on TV, which you know is how I like my Jesus. Dirty. Wearing Bell Bottoms. Driving a tour bus. Totally fuckin' awesome.
My kids have discovered my kryptonite. Books. I don't want to be that asshole m…
I see stories and I usually don't have the same reaction as everyone else. My gut doesn't function properly sometimes.
Case in point the grandma bullied on the bus.
Although I don't condone bullying, all I kept thinking was "Who is the adult in this situation?" Is it bad that I didn't feel sorry for her? I didn't pity her.
I questioned why she wasn't doing her job. What if those same kids were bullying another kid? If she couldn't stand up for herself how in the world would she stand up for another person? Her job is to keep the peace and by just sitting there she neglected her duties.
This of course is my opinion. I think it is a valuable one.
Did you ever notice when you see stories on bullies the answer to bullying is by bullying the people who bullied. That above statement is a tongue twister, say it three times fast.
...stories on bullies the answer to bullying is by bullying the people who bullied.
*She's got an octopus on her head. Does it matter? What does it symbolize? Is she trying to be funny? Or ironic? Poetic? Does it matter? Not to me. She represents my repressed youth or something like that. I am about her age and when I was younger she sang what I wanted to say and sing and couldn't or wouldn't.
And now I am not so moody and repressed and she just sings songs that I enjoy. No pressure.
How things change.
*Whenever I am by myself in the car I leave my house in a sense of rush, like I can't wait to get away. And on my way home there is this overwhelming sense of anxiety because I have to get home and make sure everyone is still alive. I can never get home fast enough and a million thoughts go through my head.
My poetic self looks for some foreboding symbol: A black cat, a broken mirror, a storm cloud, a plastic bag floating that suddenly comes down from its heaven. My literal self puts her foot down a little harder on the gas petal. Never …
The hub of our being is of course the refrigerator doors. You open the doors to nourish yourself and put things on the doors to nourish your soul. Have you ever noticed that? You will walk by those doors a million plus time in your life. You stand in front of them. You put things in and take things out. You probably use them more than your front door or your porch door. The fridge door represents your life right now. Who you are and where you are going and where you have been. It's all there, just take a look.
One day I took all the those advertising magnets we received with the phone books and re-purposed them. I am sure it's nice to have the phone number of our local plumber on hand, but it is more important to remember our roots.
I love quotes. They remind me of what's important. These are two of my favorite quotes, they are about love and family and that is what it's all about. They are just words. When you put those words together, string them in a row,…
*I have been adding club soda to my wine lately, more refreshing. Have you ever tried it? I do a 70% wine to 30% club soda mixture. I pretend I am a mad scientist creating the elixir of life. I am creating the elixir of life. Just doing my part.
*I can count the number of times I have been really inebriated on my two hands. I have thrown up due to alcohol like three to four times in my life. I try to be very careful when I drink. I come with the alcoholic gene. It sits deep in my self, beneath the blood and cells and chromosomes. Right next to my hair color, my above average breast size, and predisposition for cancer. I get it from both size, alcoholism runs in my blood like a tidal wave. When I drink wine or whatever and wake up with a headache it is my reminder of how I can be everything I don't want to be. Slow down.
Of course because I don't fill my predisposition with alcohol I find myself filling the void with internet and food and shopping and other creatur…
*When I say absolutely I replace the 'b' with a 'p' so it sounds like a-pp-solutely. I don't say it that way because it's cute or I am trying to be funny. That's how I say absolutely. "A-pp-solutely." Sometimes I actually catch myself writing with the 'p' instead of a 'b'. That's when you know you have a problem.
*My kindergarten kid is learning how to spell/read. Spelling and writing out things phonetically is just the way it works around here right now. I read what she writes and I have to really look at her words, the way they are written, words are spelled the way they sound. You think it would make my job easier. But it doesn't.
I look and sound out each word in my head till I get the right word. And sometimes I correct her. And sometimes I don't.
Right now we are working with the ending 'y' that makes a long 'e' sound. It is an easy-eas-E- enough concept for her to understand. But sti…