addiction

*I have been adding club soda to my wine lately, more refreshing.  Have you ever tried it?  I do a 70% wine to 30% club soda mixture.  I pretend I am a mad scientist creating the elixir of life.  I am creating the elixir of life.  Just doing my part.

*I can count the number of times I have been really inebriated on my two hands.  I have thrown up due to alcohol like three to four times in my life.  I try to be very careful when I drink.  I come with the alcoholic gene.  It sits deep in my self, beneath the blood and cells and chromosomes.  Right next to my hair color, my above average breast size, and predisposition for cancer.  I get it from both size, alcoholism  runs in my blood like a tidal wave. When I drink wine or whatever and wake up with a headache it is my reminder of how I can be everything I don't want to be.  Slow down.
Of course because I don't fill my predisposition with alcohol I find myself filling the void with internet and food and shopping and other creature comforts.  Soft addictions.  I usually stop myself before I get carried away.  I used to shop like mad.  The key to a shopping addiction and hiding it from the people you love is you buy things for OTHER people.  You don't have the reminder of you follies staring you in the face everyday.  And for the most part people don't question because they are benefiting from your addiction.  It's a win win.   Until the credit card bill comes.  And one day someone asks you "Why do you keep buying me stuff?"  And all you can say is "It feels good."
Of course if you have nothing to feed the addiction gene the anxiety starts.  That's always fun.  Anxiety is an addiction in and of itself.  Another thing to obsess over.  Anxiety is like a rocking chair, it gets you moving but doesn't take you anywhere.  No one benefits from anxiety.   Well maybe the drug companies.

* I end with a song.  Because it is my way.  In my house Tuesdays are Taco/Timbaland Tuesdays.  We make tacos and dance to Timbaland music.  My kids wake up and I say "What day is it?" and they answer with an excited "Taco/Timbaland Tuesday!"
Tis awesome.