I am taking a break from the self-loathing that has become this blog to talk about tonsurephobia, or fear of haircuts. I am convinced I am the only woman in the world that hates sitting in a chair and getting her haircut. People touching my head is not relaxing to me, I hate sitting for long stretches, no matter what my couch says. I am in fear that they will totally screw my hair up and I will walk around looking like a complete and total nerd. Mostly though I can only guarantee my social graces for a span of five minutes, after five minutes I can make no promises that the things that come out of my mouth will not offend or shock you.
You would think that I have Crystal Gayle hair, but you are wrong. My thick hair causes extreme headaches so I can hold out almost a year between haircuts, then my hair feels more like a ten pound weight on my head. It actually hurts me to have hair go past my shoulder.
Now there is a lot of past incidence that caused this fear, and I am well aware of them. Bad perms. Short haircuts that made my head look more like a football player then a girl. Getting told I have thick hair more times then I can count, I don't like being told the obvious. A boy I had a crush on tell someone he liked me before I cut my hair.
Having a bit of social anxiety doesn't help. Having to make polite chit-chat is not high on my list of FAVE things to do. In fact if the enemy were to get me and sit me in a hydraulic chair and started talking to me about the weather I'd spill all this countries secrets. I am a weak, weak person.
I am writing this post now because I am starting to feel the pull, there is only so much Advil a girl can take. I know this is a long time coming. I will procrastinate for another week or so, but soon I will have to suck it up and get my hair chopped. Wish me luck.