I have been writing post but not sharing them, I am selfish like that. I am really struggling at how much of my family's life I should share. The kids are getting older, I can sense they might not want me sharing every little thing with the world. And I don't want to either. A little piece of me feels like sharing that story of me and them and my life makes it less mine and more yours. I want it to be all mine. I am selfish like that.
I hate to bog down this space with all my worldly troubles. It is my space, but I don't want to come back here in a few days, months and years and be embarrassed. I am a mess and the last thing I want is to be reminded of, when I am not a mess, is that I was a mess. Whenever that day of non-messdom will be.
I know there is a positive energy when you release your demons, but do I have to show off all my faults to everyone? Do you have to see where I have made mistakes to make it right?
Blogging is such a fickle thing for me. One minute it is my savior and the next it is the noose around my neck, I falter on that line on a daily basis.
I know quitting all this is out of the question, but it has been a choice. I changed my online persona to fit into where I was going, it kept me from stopping altogether. This blog is my last ditch effort to hold on to this world.
I am not complaining, or am I? Hell,half the time I have no idea what is coming out of my mind and onto this computer. Hell, I have no idea how you are reading this.
It is all perception.
Thanks for Listening.