If I start my post with "I have nothing to write about" I will end up with the longest post ever. What is that called, ironic? fate? whatever? I really have been struggling to put my thoughts on paper, or computer screen. I lack any energy, sometimes the idea of taking a shower is equivalent to running a marathon, and I don't do running. Maybe it's the holiday? Maybe this shit is getting old. Maybe I need a new hobby. What do they call stamp collectors?
What has really happened is the earth is tilted in just a way to make my days suckage. I have no tolerance for people, ignorant people. I have little patience for anything. My heart races when anything, ANYTHING does not go my way.
One more then occasion this week I dreamed of stripping my clothes and laying in the cold snow. The idea of my blood thinking and everything inside of me slowing down is almost orgasmic. I want to feel my body slow down. I want to feel the shiver. I want to feel numb. I know the feeling of being numb, I just want that numbness to mean something.
Today. tomorrow. today.