My Lullaby

Most nights I lie next to my kids till they fall asleep, I know turn around Jo Frost your words of wisdom are not needed here.

Megan is a total cuddler, she just holds and hugs and sometimes gives me little kisses. She tells me her secrets and tells me she loves me. She lays with her doll wrapped in one arm and the other arm is wrapped around me.

Nolan is calm, for the first time during the day. The lights are out and the noise that keeps him on edge is gone. I anticipated that moment when he finally REALLY talks to me. He tells me everything about his day, everything I wanted to know when he walked through the door just off the bus. The ball in the corner and the bike pull him away, "I don't know" is usually the answer when I ask that age old question " What did you do today."

At night everything is different. It is us for 15 minutes. Me rubbing their backs. Me listening.

As I listen for the first signs sleep I think about what I can write. What I can I come up with when I put pen to paper. Sometimes I get nothing. I go downstairs and drown my brain with mindless T.V. crap.

On the nights I am inspired I lay still and run off what I am going to write and how. I structure it and plan it. And then I wake up and it is almost morning. My words were my lullaby. I have forgotten half of what I planned. I try later to write it out. I get...nothing.

Maybe it was just enough to think about it. I was working out a problem that didn't need pen to paper, it just needed thought.

When does a post come to you? Does it always end up how you plan it in your head?