Will I Watch The Lovely Bones Today?

Long ago I read The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, a beautiful yet soul wrenching book.  I had a real physical reaction when I read it.  Literally after reading that one part, that I won't spoil, I was dry heaving with my head resting on the toilet.  For reals.

I almost didn't finish it.  I pushed through and I am glad I did.  It is on my list of top 20 books.

Last month when we had an HBO free preview weekend I noticed the film version of 'The Lovely Bones'  was playing.  I taped it planning to watch it that night.  Well nerves and the desire not to go to bed and have bald Stanley Tucci nightmares, I held off.  Days turned into weeks.  Weeks turned into months and I still have yet to watch that movie.
This is not a decision I take lightly.  Watching 'The Lovely Bones is a commitment I have to fully give of myself.

Every morning I ask myself:
"Will Today Be The Day That I Watch 'The Lovely Bones?"

Then I give myself this simple quiz:

1. Are you happy this morning?
yes: Today is not a good day to watch The Lovely Bones, be happy and enjoy this good feeling
no: Go to question 2

2. Are you sad this morning?
yes: You are overly emotional and need to center yourself, no Lovely Bones for you today!
no: You seem to be at a normal temperament proceed to question 3.

3.  Have you watched any news channels in the past 48 hours?
yes: Truth is stranger the fiction.  Try not to watch the news tonight and start again tomorrow.
no: You are safe to proceed to question number 4.

4.  For any reason, be it necessary or for vanity reasons, are you wearing make-up today?
yes: Due to your overemotional self and the possibility of raccoon eyes you have to put off watching 'The Lovely Bones' for one more day.
no: You may jump to question 5.

5. Are you sick, stomach ache or any type of virus?
yes: Sorry, get well and try again when you feel better.
no: Go to question 6.

6. Are the kids home all day?
yes: Totally inappropriate for young viewers, try again on Monday!
no:  You are a go for question 7.


7. Can you imagine Marky Mark as a father?
yes: Yeah that man looks good no matter what character he plays, proceed to question 8.
no: Get over it and come back tomorrow, you can't live in the 90's forever.


8. Are you expecting an important phone call?
yes: Probably best not to have any distractions, keep the phone on and try again later.
no: Turn the ringer off and proceed to question 9.


9.  Do you have a bottle of wine on hand?
yes: pour yourself a glass and proceed to the last question.
no:  WHAT!  Go out a buy a bottle now! Try again later.


10.  Are you ready for possible anxious behaviors?
yes: The wine is working already.  Sit back and enjoy the movie.
no: Get a grip, have a Xanax and try again tomorrow.


I have yet to pass all 10 questions.    Someday.  Someday.....

Comments

  1. You should watch it. The movie is actually not that good. It is not moving and gripping and torturous like the book is. Unless you are just an emotional wreck who can't stand any emotion whatsoever in a movie, you will probably make it through without even a tear.

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