I am feeling everything right now.
You know that pins and needles feeling? Every emotion every feeling is at the surface and you don't know which one to release first.
I want to cry and laugh and yell and whisper. I want noise and quiet. I want to be alone but I am scared to be alone. I want to be touched and loved and I want to hide in my room.
I want this all at the same time.
This I know is physically impossible. Most of everything comes out as displaced anger or frustration or I say nothing because I am afraid of the anger or frustration that could come out. Then anger at myself for overreacting.
A thousand and one thoughts, ideas swirl through my head. I can't decide where they go. If I should forget. Compartmentalize. Give-up or go all the way.
I like to think all this is part of a cross road. I am scared of every decision and feeling because it is a more then a feeling and a choice it will be my life.