Today I made a vow to shift what I am proud of. Before I worked hard to be proud of being a good mom, worker, wife. That pride in a way is dependent on others, it is dependent on how other's view the work I do. If they are happy I am happy.
For the most part those prides have been met. But suddenly but really slowly I find that what once brought me pride is now evaporating. The kids are older and their needs are less. I find myself relying on myself for the comfort I need. Work has not been the same boat I sailed on nine year ago. You learn quickly that you can't rely on others for your own happiness, you have to find it within yourself.
So what made me happy? At one time this. This space. And maybe at one time my words mattered to someone. Mostly they mattered to me. And that is the magic I need to recapture. I need to shift what makes me feel proud.
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