In simplest terms I define myself as White and Woman. Going beyond that I can say I don’t know much else. Not because I didn’t want to know but because of what I was told. If I asked my father it was a mix of Dutch, English, Scottish and American Indian. When my sister tanned after a summer in the pool my dad informed us that we were also ‘Black.’ I knew this as a joke and can admit I laughed at the joke, even though I know it hurt my sister immensely. Not because she was sad to be Black, but sad knowing how my father felt about Black. My father further joked that it was quite possible as our roots can be traced as being white slave owners in Tennessee; and trips down south where to solidify that. The family can be traced back to the Revolutionary War in the footholds of the Virginia Mountains. There is no claim to a specific country, only the country we live in today. Today I can say I am: White, Woman, Cis, Straight, American, Teacher.
One of the cultural groups I identify with is Woman. This group is the strongest for me and I feel as a whole I have the most support. I see me in the role in every aspect, as mother, sister, daughter. In the family most of the older generation are divorced mothers who took on the role of single mom. The 80’s divorce culture did not favor the man, my dad utilized multiple organizations set up for men to gain custody of their children. By the time the 90's came, and my father gained custody I was shown the ways by a young step-mother. As a girl I was taught to not only care for family but to work and support family. I can say that my perceptions of motherhood were not quite as utopic as June Cleaver nor as horrendous as Roseanne Barr.
Not being able to claim a Motherland has never really bothered me too much. I was just American. We celebrated the holidays of a Christian Faith, marched as Americans in parades and worshiped the ‘One True God.’ Once I lived with my Step-mother more culture came into play. Her family embraced their Polish and French roots. I imagined I was Polish as I tasted pierogies and sausage. Although I won’t admit to it when ‘Dumb Polish’ jokes were told. I think I only yearned for the best parts of the cultures that I wanted to identify with. Today I cook no special dishes or prepare special feast days. Ultimately I am defined by the ‘Red, White and Blue.’
Being a White Woman Teacher has been my biggest struggle. The state I live in, Wisconsin, has the worst achievement gaps in the nation, specifically as it related to the graduation of Students of Color in the nation. This is eye-opening to me and made me seek out a re-education of how I work with Students of Color. I am interested in diving into the topic of modern day school segregation that is part of this course. Just glancing at the GAO report we see that the gap just doesn't lie in education but in levels of poverty for Students of Color. I am also interested in gaining insight from others regarding the doll experiment and the change in behavior in children when the experiment was first performed and now.
I will say this definition of how I define myself as American leads me here. Over the past few years I have been disappointed in myself and my culture. Working in the school district I have seen my role as being part of the problem and not the solution. I struggle with interacting with those, adult and child, that have a defined culture that goes beyond White America. I really had noticed this culture of White, Woman, Cis, Straight, American is a privilege I have gained the benefits of.
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