Why I am not President

At one time in my life I pictured myself being President of the United States.  Life happened.  You couldn't pay me to be President, although they do actually pay people to be President it's just that you couldn't pay me enough to be President.  The greatest deterrent is of course the gray hair.  Do you see those pictures??  Especially with our last two presidents.  Before oval office hair one color, during and after the oval office, GRAY.

I am not ruler of this free nation but I am ruler of my household.  Less president, more dictator.  My hair isn't gray.  Okay I lie there is some gray there.  Very hard to see.  I know it's there.  It's my dirty little secret.
 My other dirty secret is sometimes I watch 16 and Pregnant.  I also like this song and I sing it at the top of my lungs in the car when no one is looking. 
Don't tell anyone okay.
That's another reason I could never be president.  I have too many dirty secrets.  And the ruler of the free world should not be indulging in shows about teen girls getting pregnant and crying because they can't go to prom.  It doesn't gain respect.   Neither does singing songs by third rate pop singers from the 90's.   Or admitting that you're less president and more dictator.  And admitting when you say dictator you get a craving for tator tots. 
Or the fact that I can't sustain a coherent thought without going on wild tangents.

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