Person. Me.

Past and present.  I have been thinking a lot about the two.   And how they are different and the same and so far apart and so much together.  How much I try to change one in the other and how it never works out.  Or how I try to live in one and forget the other and that never works either.  I can't think of a way to properly marry the two to live happily ever after.

 I can never decide if I wear my heart on my sleeve or if I bury deep with the recesses of my chest.  Past the bones and the marrow.  Wrapped up in skin.   I guess it depends on the moment. 

I am not a thesaurus type of person.  Red is red damn it.  Don't confuse me with big fancy words.  Get to the point.  Talk down to me like I am a three-year-old with a box of eight chunky crayons.   There is no scarlet in that box.  No ruby.  No crimson.  Just red.  Plain old red.  And blue and yellow.  And green.  Red.

I listen to this song called 'How to Grow a Woman From the Ground."  It is the most lovely song.  It's about love and blood.  It's about growing a woman from the dirt, dirt that was turned to mud by his blood.  Or so I believe.  Or I like to think.  I am a girl and a romantic and no matter how much I want to believe I can do anything and everything all on my own I still want a man to lay on the ground, turning it to mud with his blood and watch me grow from that ground..  It's a beautiful thing for a person to do.  Is that a lot to ask?