Feel too much

I had a bad morning. I am trying to change my perspective of things. If a morning is bad it doesn't mean my whole day is ruined. If I had a bad afternoon the rest of the day is not shot to hell. Changing this idea is hard though. I am a holder on to things. I grasp hold of things and don't let go. The ones I love try hard to pry me away from these bad thoughts and actions that were bestowed upon me, it doesn't help much. I know I should not let things bother me, but I do. I am one who lives, breathes and gives with my whole heart and when something is said that hurts or offends I feel it with my whole heart.
I vent, I let it out and still feel the anxiety, the sadness and the hurt. I don't want to be a person someone thinks less of, and when I sense I am it kills. I'd love to be one of those people that says "Whatever" and moves on. I would love to not dwell.
But I do.
On a side note that will make you laugh:
When I called my dear friend to vent about the events of the day I dialed the wrong number and spilled my guts to some stranger. I let loose and she listened only interrupting once- which I totally misinterpreted as her wanting more of the story.
Funny thing is this is what happens- I get totally caught up in my own little moment of panic, and self-pity that I do something so ridiculous I can't help but laugh at myself a little, which helps a little.

Comments

  1. LOL I think calling random strangers to vent is a great idea. You can get it all out and they'll never know who you are!

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  2. I love that you ranted to a wrong number. It just is so funny. I think I would get a kick out of someone calling me and ranting though I don't know them.

    I know how hard it is to let go of things, and I agree that it does seem to go hand in hand with being a sensitive, giving, loving person. Because you would never treat someone like that, it is hard when someone treats you that way. Just remember that you are loved!

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  3. That's Hilarious...that you called the wrong number.
    Seems like a perfect sitcom mpment.
    Yeah...sometimes, you just gotta' laugh...even when you're cryin'.

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