Monday, November 23, 2009

Feel too much

I had a bad morning. I am trying to change my perspective of things. If a morning is bad it doesn't mean my whole day is ruined. If I had a bad afternoon the rest of the day is not shot to hell. Changing this idea is hard though. I am a holder on to things. I grasp hold of things and don't let go. The ones I love try hard to pry me away from these bad thoughts and actions that were bestowed upon me, it doesn't help much. I know I should not let things bother me, but I do. I am one who lives, breathes and gives with my whole heart and when something is said that hurts or offends I feel it with my whole heart.
I vent, I let it out and still feel the anxiety, the sadness and the hurt. I don't want to be a person someone thinks less of, and when I sense I am it kills. I'd love to be one of those people that says "Whatever" and moves on. I would love to not dwell.
But I do.
On a side note that will make you laugh:
When I called my dear friend to vent about the events of the day I dialed the wrong number and spilled my guts to some stranger. I let loose and she listened only interrupting once- which I totally misinterpreted as her wanting more of the story.
Funny thing is this is what happens- I get totally caught up in my own little moment of panic, and self-pity that I do something so ridiculous I can't help but laugh at myself a little, which helps a little.


  1. LOL I think calling random strangers to vent is a great idea. You can get it all out and they'll never know who you are!

  2. I love that you ranted to a wrong number. It just is so funny. I think I would get a kick out of someone calling me and ranting though I don't know them.

    I know how hard it is to let go of things, and I agree that it does seem to go hand in hand with being a sensitive, giving, loving person. Because you would never treat someone like that, it is hard when someone treats you that way. Just remember that you are loved!

  3. That's Hilarious...that you called the wrong number.
    Seems like a perfect sitcom mpment.
    Yeah...sometimes, you just gotta' laugh...even when you're cryin'.


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Life doesn't seem fair  and I am a witness. "I don't believe in God" she says And I have nothing to refute it. I see...