The Asshole

I am surrounded by them, mostly because I am one.
Whenever the family gets together we always seem to find a running joke for our time together, otherwise known as we find something funny to say and beat it like a dead horse. This visits running joke was our quest to not be the "asshole of Thanksgiving."
It started when my brother took the turkey to the downstairs kitchenette, "Don't drop the turkey or you'll be the asshole of Thanksgiving." And thus the joke continued on for the rest of the day.
"Don't burn the gravy or you'll be the asshole of Thanksgiving."
"Don't trip with the bowl of mashed potatoes or you'll be the asshole of Thanksgiving."
"Don't spill your wine or you will be the asshole of Thanksgiving."
On and on and on until my mom goes ape-shit nuts and tells us to stop.
Of course there is only one asshole at Thanksgiving and that asshole is the one who eats the last piece of pumpkin pie.
I am not the asshole.
It is good to have goals.