Tuesday, January 28, 2014

snow day

Not really snow days.  More cold days.  The idea that it is so cold they are shutting you into your home.  Too cold to go from house to car to building to car and back into house.  Frostbite occurs in less than thirty minutes.  
One minute in you feel fine.   
Two there is a heaviness in your chest.
Three you find it hard to catch your breath. 
The liquid cold invades your lungs.
Four minutes out you regulate.
Five your hands start to ache.
Every part covered and otherwise feels the bitter frost.

Being shut in can be hard with two kids.  But not with two older kids.  Because they know their own things. They don't want to do what mom wants to do.  These things are 'BORING!'  And 'NO FUN!' 
I am lost and bereft not having to coddle two children locked indoors.  I don't have to search for crafts or make magic tricks; tap dance to entertain.  They do it all themselves.  I am not a mother of the needed and discontent.  I am a mother of the independent and content.
So I force the issue.  I make them read and play games with me.  Make them watch a movie with me or talk. 

Soon the barometer will change and life will go back to the way it was.  And we will again wish for the chance to be this content again.   

Sunday, January 26, 2014

the beauty in movement

For the past months I have worked with and taught children with autism.  I have learned so much.

Beauty in Movement
I find that as I get older I have a harder time with movement.  
Beyond the regular walking, driving,
I find my stomach quease, 
my head ache, 
vertigo takes over, 
and my heart  races.  
I have to close my eyes and remember to breathe.
It can take minutes, hours, days till I feel myself again.  
What once brought joy, 
the swing,  
a roller coaster,
the top looking down onto the world below,  
now seems to set me on edge. 
I find myself wishing to have my feet firmly on the ground.  
The only way to be centered is to feel something solid beneath me.  

I work with children with autism. 
It seems the opposite applies to them.  
That being on solid ground makes them quease, 
causes their head to ache.  
Movement quick and sure is great relief.  
On the ground they are fast.  
Their arms appear to move without control.  
A run becomes a skip,
a gallop
then slows to a walk,
back to a run 
and a sudden erupt stop.   
Swinging becomes a stillness. 
The pump of the legs, 
and forward momentum brings a clarity to them.  
Their eyes focus and look at you.  
You see a sudden center
and in that quick moment of movement you see into a soul. 
A beautiful soul.  
Movement is a precious thing.  
Stillness can be overrated.


Yesterday was long but I made sure I did one me thing.  I'm trying it more.  Making it so I do one thing I want to do, not have to do or...