Monday, November 29, 2010

Top 5 Ways to Become the Asshole of Thanksgiving

5. While showing your son-in-law the proper mechanics of a spring-form pan, trip the spring and allow the pumpkin cheese cake to fall on the floor.

4. Show up without corn-bread stuffing.

3. Come upstairs announcing that you are here to help with the clean-up just as the last dish is being washed.

2. Phone it in.

and the #1 way to be the asshole of Thanksgiving.

1. Be a wild animal getting ready for hibernation and attack the families pet chicken the night before Thanksgiving.

To the worlds greatest chicken, Ruby.  Rest in peace....

In a semi-asshole way submitted to:

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Mom Gone Crazy

Of course it would come to this.
Not a drop of patience left.  Months and years.
The fighting
The arguing
The begging and pleading and praying.
What I did was send them both upstairs.
I got the garbage bags and loaded every toy on the floor and not in it proper spot in garbage bags and baskets.  Then I put those full baskets and bags in the unused bathroom and locked the door.
Ultimately the fate of those toys rests on the decision lies between the daddy and I.    But I would love your opinion too.


Monday, November 22, 2010

Things that are Funny That Are Not Suppose to be Funny.

1. Vaseline Twitter Parties
2. Fiber Plus Twitter Parties
3.Fiber Plus and Vaseline twitter Parties on the same night.
4. Animal cruelty.
5. Lard.
6.. Body Scanners
7. Mommybloggers complaining about being called Mommybloggers.
8. Boycotts
9.  Photographers
10. Ron Johnson

When the mood suits me,  list submitted to:

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Great Best Cat Ever Debate

Nothing like a spirited debate on Facebook to make your day.  Facebook, as well as blogs and Twitter, allows you some anonymity for the most part.  If your family is on Facebook it is a whole new ballgame.
It is always important, if you feel strongly about something, to stand by your convictions and fight the good fight.
I had a small debate this past week with my mom, it all started with an innocent enough message to my mother.....
Let me explain.  The fact that Joey Sparkles...
1. is a he
2. has three colors in his coat
2. And his testicles dropped
Makes him a bit of an anomaly.  Most Calico male cats are sterile and don't drop their testicles.  So the fact that my cat has the certain coloring and has testicles makes him very special.  If he is a true calico is still in question, but the fact that he is tri-colored and with testes is kind of rare.
 My mom has a point though, just because my cat has a certain gender-specific organ does not make him the best cat ever.   But I was determined to make my case.
So I posted some photographic evidence...
Joey Sparkles assists with household chores, like washing dishes. BEST CAT EVER!
Not to be outdone my mom then posted this picture...
Lucy helping me make the cat EVER!!!
And this is is when the real debate began....
 I have a feeling this debate will continue.  Like all debates some things are subjective.
I will stand my ground, because I know for a fact my cat is the best cat EVER.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

You're Happy Because You Eat Lard and HFCS/Corn Sugar

I saw this online and about died.  Died laughing.  It's funny.
  I imagine in 50 years my granddaughter will have a similar reaction to this..
Don't get me wrong I loves me some HFCS/corn sugar.  Sweet sweet corn sugar. 
I would bathe in lard if they let me.  Lard is good, reals good. 
But as a wise wise man* once said, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

*The wise wise man mentioned is actually my father, who also says "I'll slap you so hard you look pretty."  The wise part is debatable.

I Want To Buy Her an Orange Tree

 She sits in the car, her and I, and we listen to our favorite song.  She really thinks the song is about her, and I do nothing to make her think it's not.
"Mom, I am always dressed in white." she says
"Yes, you look lovely in white."  I reply.
She quickly answers back, "I'm like an angel...."
"..and you burn my eyes." I reply laughing.
Then I tell her "And you move like a little girl."
and she says matter-of-factly "I am a little girl."
"Yes you are." I say "I become a child, you move my world"
and that's what makes the song about her.
She so moves my world.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Back To

One of those weird songs I just love. I come back to time to time. It's nice to have things to come back to.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Giving Thanks and Giving Back

I love Thanksgiving.  I love the togetherness, the food, being with family, the food.  I have so much to be thankful for this year.   It was a pretty good year.
Talking about our Thanksgiving plans this weekend my sister mentioned that she needed help with a service project for her class.  This year she is interning at a women's shelter and wants to share more then just her working hours with them.  Some brain-storming and planing we came up with a great way to give back and have a little fun.
The First Annual Family Thanksgiving Day Challenge.
The rules:
Each family member is to spend $1 (before taxes) on any household item: shampoo, toilet paper, soap etc.  The family member who gets the most "Bang for their buck" wins!
Wins what, you ask?
Well the first piece of pumpkin pie of course!  And bragging rights for the year!
But you can only buy one thing for $1, you say? 
It's not so much about the one thing you buy, but what that one thing contains.  Get where I am going here?
What's the point of this challenge, you ask?
The point is to give back to those in need.  To prove that giving is so easy, all you need is $1.  
And if you give $1 and I give $1 and he gives $1 and she gives $1.....
Get where I am going here.

Our goal is to fill a laundry basket, heaping over, with everyday supplies for the women's shelter.  And to have a little fun in the process.

So this Thanksgiving my family is working together to help families in need, will you do the same? 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Cruelty to Animals

I am not oppose to cruelty to animals.
Case in point....
I know what you are thinking.  "Susan how can you put a shirt on a cat?  That is so cruel!"
That is not the cruel part.  Joey Sparkles has been wearing the shirt all morning without a fuss.
The cruel part is he's actually a Cubs fan.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

the thousand and one words i have to say must wait.
some days you just need to cry it out.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

When A Boycott Is Not Worth It

You all heard the horrid story, Amazon and their choice of books to allow in their Kindle self-publish store.
And as much as it horrifies and scares me that someone could write about on this subject.
  And as much as I believe in free speech and this is one of those cases that really pushes the limits.
I am not going to talk about either of those things.
This whole boycott call infuriates me.  People calling Amazon, emailing Amazon.  DEMANDING removal of the book.  Writing in the review section how terrible Amazon is and how they are going to BOYCOTT Amazon until they remove the book but not before the drive up the traffic and increase this book's sales.
The truth is IF Amazon decides to remove the book everyone will pat themselves on the back and move on with their life.
But they forget there are still children out there EVERYDAY being abused by people.  Adult people.  Adult people they don't know.  Adult people they do know.  Adult people they trust.
And not enough people are standing up for for the children and adults who suffer in silence. Everyday..
A boycott of Amazon doesn't stop pedophiles.  It doesn't stop the cycle of abuse.
But IF the book is removed you will pat yourself on the back and think you have helped the greater good.
But you have done NOTHING.
If you for any reason wrote a comment on that books Amazon page.  Or tweeted with a vengeance.  Or called for boycotts I ask.  I beg.  I appeal to your concerned nature to do the real work that matters.
Email, call your lawmakers.  DEMAND that THEY stiffen punishment for sexual offenders.  DEMAND that THEY help support victim advocate groups.
Thumbing your nose at Amazon is not the real work.


I discovered today this song is about a night-light. And now I want a night-light. And a birdhouse.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Today Laundry, Tomorrow the World

*I am sitting here typing with my feet tucked tightly under my legs.  "Criss-Cross Applesause" my kids would say, I still say Indian-style because you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  I love the way my kids look at me when I say Indian-style.  They are puzzled, like I just spoke some foreign language, words of a time gone by.  I imagine it's the look I had when I moved to Wisconsin from Illinois and all the kids asked to go drink at the "Bubbler" and I called it a water fountain.

*I am sitting here typing with my feet tucked tightly under my legs because I have no clean socks and my feet are freezing. Yesterday I wore a pair of socks I wore the day before.  I sniffed them to make sure they didn't smell too bad.  They were passable.  Now I have no other option but to do a load of laundry today.  And basically the fate of the world rest on the laundry I do or don't do today.  Because I have no clean socks.  And the kids are down to their last clean pair.  And is there anything worse then opening up your child's drawer to realize there is no clean socks to put on their toes?  I am sure there is worse, but at the moment, in front of that top drawer I feel like I dropped the ball, it's a bad feeling to have.

It seems so cliche to talk about laundry on a Mommyblog.  But it is what we do.

* I am sitting here typing with my feet tucked under my legs in almost silence.  The kids are playing nicely by themselves, and I know the moment I go down there they will fight for my attention.  I love to listen to children playing and using their imagination.  I love listening to the stories they make-up and act out, what their little minds can create.  It is those little things that keep you going.

* I am sitting here typing with my feet tucked under my legs even though I have a hundred things I should be doing, but I am here.  Because I like it here.  It is a wonderful place. 

My Christmas Wish List

Today I get semi-selfish and let you know what is on my Christmas wish-list.  As much as I love coming up with what my children need/want for Christmas it is second only to my needs/wants.  In fact throughout the year I think of all those little things that I really want but don't need but if you buy it for me then it's all okay.
So what is on my list this year??

First up....
Is it sad that I am thirty-(cough-cough) and I don't have a cast-iron skillet.  My corn bread batter cries every time I put it in a glass baking dish.  I can hear it.  It is sad.

Kindle 3G Wireless Reading Device, Free 3G + Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite, 3G Works Globally - Latest Generation

 I want a Kindle* so bad it hurts.  I dream about holding it and reading.  I dream of going on vacation and finishing a book then going on my wireless connection and downloading another book.  It's good to have dreams.

 You can't have a Kindle without a cute Kindle case and this is the one I wantThis case is made by  Britgal Designs on Etsy.
This case is more expensive then other cases I previewed but the fact that you can actually read/use the Kindle in the case makes it worth the extra dough.


Susan, yoga pant?**  You don't do yoga. 
Of course I don't but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the extreme comfort and stretchiness of yoga pants.
But these my ladies are just not any yoga pants, these have a secret.
Wanna know what it is?  Come close....a little closer.  Shhh!
They have a tummy control panel.  SHRIEEEK right I know!!!!
I have to tell you I received a pair of these awesome pants and  they are HEAVEN.  I wore them 3 times in one week.  I could wear them all day everyday if it wasn't for my resistance to the laundry pile.
These pants make my body look good.
So what makes these pants better then other yoga pants.
Well first the company that makes them is called "The Girls" .  Sometimes it's all in the name.
That and when you put them on they are like butter.  BUTTER!  It's the fabric. A nylon/spandex mix that has a technical name because it is that good.  Everything that is good has a real technical name.  But don't worry about that, just worry about how good you are gonna look in these pants!

That's it Santa/husband.  I have been a real good girl this year so please make all my wishes come true!

*Disclosure: I did not receive a Kindle to write that I want a Kindle but if you click the link and purchase a Kindle I will receive a small percentage of the purchase price.

**Disclosure:  I did receive a pair of The Girl yoga pants.  No money was given to this write post.   What I said is 100% true, I would like Santa to bring me one....or ten more pair of these pants.  It's the tummy control, it gets me every time.
Don't forget to check out "The Girls" on Facebook

Monday, November 8, 2010

Why I Will Never Be a Big Name Blogger

I give thought, every once in a harvest moon, about what direction I want to go with my blog.  I don't have a very big audience and I don't work that hard to gain a following.  The truth is I am afraid to work on my blog as a business.  I don't want expectations here because truthfully this is the only place in my life that has no expectations.  I can come as I want and not have to answer to anyone.
Okay, yes I take the occasional review but that is only because I want to.  If I find I don't want to write about a product I receive I won't.  That might not make me popular with PR peeps, but would they rather have a half ass review or a negative review?  At the end of the day I like free stuff and of the hundred review  requests I receive each week  you are lucky if I take one of those opportunities. 
So the other day I was thinking of all the things that make me a no-name, and will continue to keep me in my small blogger shell.  Besides what I stated above this is what I came up with....

  1. I think Nutella is disgusting.
That is all.
Happy Monday!

Somewhat, very regularly, in a semi-stalker kinda way submitted to:

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I Voted

Reasons Why I Voted....
  1. Because millions of women suffered in silence not even 100 years ago and worked tirelessly to give me and the women of today a voice.
  2. Because today in many countries women still are not given the right to vote.
  3. Because I can.
I know only three and that's all I need.  And even though it didn't come out how I wanted it, it was so worth it.  Till next time...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Christmas Gift Ideas: Gift Cards and How to Gift Them

I am not big on gift cards.  I get the appeal but I much rather give a gift that a person can hold and use right away.
But sometimes the gift card can't be avoided.
Case in point:  I have a niece who loves to read.  I don't have a list of books that she has and I have a feeling it would take my sister-in-law a good couple hours to form a list of books she owns.  I like my sister-in-law too much to do that to her.
So my only choice for my little-ferocious-reading niece is to give her a gift card so she can buy a book she knows she wants to read.
After I buy a gift card I like to put it in something other then a card.  There is a lot of gift card holders out there, they are cute but not practical, they are never to be used again.
I love the idea of putting a gift card in a new wallet or purse or a pouch....

From Paper Sparrow on

I love the unique fabric, bright colors and their versatility. I can imagine my niece putting her watercolors or her jewelry or her sewing needles and thread in one of these little bags.
All fabrics are custom designed by the owner of Paper Sparrow and lined with a vintage fabric.
Super cute!

Disclosure: I was not asked nor paid to write this post.  All opinions expressed are my own.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Facebook. The Other White Meat

Twitter is for blogging and Facebook is for family.  That is my rule.  Mostly because everything that a blogger post on Facebook they also post on Twitter, and I am bombarded twice with information, some I didn't care about the first go round.
Trying to weed through the latest blogging controversy to find out if my cousin had her baby is beyond annoying.  I vowed to keep in simple so I spent a good forty-five minutes deleting every person who had/has a blog from my Facebook friends list last year, it was liberating.
Because of my Facebook snobbery  I feel I am neglecting you my loyal reader from my Facebook gems.  So today, for my list, I will highlight my top 5 favorite Facebook status updates.
  1. What I thought I heard the 4 year old say: "Come upstairs Nolan Jesus is on!" What 4 year old actually said "Come upstairs Nolan Like a G-6 is on."
  2. Stupid things to say to a four-year-old: "Come on, let's be reasonable here!"
  3. Further proving that I am the reincarnation of a twelve year old boy; I giggled a little when I told Nolan's teacher "See You Next Tuesday."
  4. Joey Sparkles routine for waking me up in the morning is 1. Play in the toilet water then 2. knead my face with his toilet-water-soaked paws.
  5. Sadly today I realized my maturity level was no different from my 7 year old when I noticed "but" "nut" and "bun" all on the same spelling list.

    Monday's list semi-faithfully submitted to ABDPBT


    I never knew much about my Grandfather's job.  I knew he was a police officer.  A Sergeant on the Chicago Police Force.  When he came ho...