Showing posts from November, 2010

Top 5 Ways to Become the Asshole of Thanksgiving

5. While showing your son-in-law the proper mechanics of a spring-form pan, trip the spring and allow the pumpkin cheese cake to fall on the floor.

4. Show up without corn-bread stuffing.

3. Come upstairs announcing that you are here to help with the clean-up just as the last dish is being washed.

2. Phone it in.

and the #1 way to be the asshole of Thanksgiving.

1. Be a wild animal getting ready for hibernation and attack the families pet chicken the night before Thanksgiving.

To the worlds greatest chicken, Ruby.  Rest in peace....

In a semi-asshole way submitted to:

Mom Gone Crazy

Of course it would come to this.
Not a drop of patience left.  Months and years.
The fighting
The arguing
The begging and pleading and praying.
What I did was send them both upstairs.
I got the garbage bags and loaded every toy on the floor and not in it proper spot in garbage bags and baskets.  Then I put those full baskets and bags in the unused bathroom and locked the door.
Ultimately the fate of those toys rests on the decision lies between the daddy and I.    But I would love your opinion too.

What to do with the toys?online survey


Things that are Funny That Are Not Suppose to be Funny.

1. Vaseline Twitter Parties
2. Fiber Plus Twitter Parties
3.Fiber Plus and Vaseline twitter Parties on the same night.
4. Animal cruelty.
5. Lard.
6.. Body Scanners
7. Mommybloggers complaining about being called Mommybloggers.
8. Boycotts
9.  Photographers
10. Ron Johnson

When the mood suits me,  list submitted to:

The Great Best Cat Ever Debate

Nothing like a spirited debate on Facebook to make your day.  Facebook, as well as blogs and Twitter, allows you some anonymity for the most part.  If your family is on Facebook it is a whole new ballgame.
It is always important, if you feel strongly about something, to stand by your convictions and fight the good fight.
I had a small debate this past week with my mom, it all started with an innocent enough message to my mother.....
Let me explain.  The fact that Joey Sparkles...
1. is a he
2. has three colors in his coat
2. And his testicles dropped
Makes him a bit of an anomaly.  Most Calico male cats are sterile and don't drop their testicles.  So the fact that my cat has the certain coloring and has testicles makes him very special.  If he is a true calico is still in question, but the fact that he is tri-colored and with testes is kind of rare.
 My mom has a point though, just because my cat has a certain gender-specific organ does not make him the best cat ever.   But I was d…

You're Happy Because You Eat Lard and HFCS/Corn Sugar

I saw this online and about died.  Died laughing.  It's funny.
  I imagine in 50 years my granddaughter will have a similar reaction to this..
Don't get me wrong I loves me some HFCS/corn sugar.  Sweet sweet corn sugar. 
I would bathe in lard if they let me.  Lard is good, reals good. 
But as a wise wise man* once said, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

*The wise wise man mentioned is actually my father, who also says "I'll slap you so hard you look pretty."  The wise part is debatable.

I Want To Buy Her an Orange Tree

She sits in the car, her and I, and we listen to our favorite song.  She really thinks the song is about her, and I do nothing to make her think it's not.
"Mom, I am always dressed in white." she says
"Yes, you look lovely in white."  I reply.
She quickly answers back, "I'm like an angel...."
"..and you burn my eyes." I reply laughing.
Then I tell her "And you move like a little girl."
and she says matter-of-factly "I am a little girl."
"Yes you are." I say "I become a child, you move my world"
and that's what makes the song about her.
She so moves my world.

Back To

One of those weird songs I just love. I come back to time to time. It's nice to have things to come back to.

Giving Thanks and Giving Back

I love Thanksgiving.  I love the togetherness, the food, being with family, the food.  I have so much to be thankful for this year.   It was a pretty good year.
Talking about our Thanksgiving plans this weekend my sister mentioned that she needed help with a service project for her class.  This year she is interning at a women's shelter and wants to share more then just her working hours with them.  Some brain-storming and planing we came up with a great way to give back and have a little fun.
The First Annual Family Thanksgiving Day Challenge. The rules: Each family member is to spend $1 (before taxes) on any household item: shampoo, toilet paper, soap etc.  The family member who gets the most "Bang for their buck" wins! Wins what, you ask? Well the first piece of pumpkin pie of course!  And bragging rights for the year! But you can only buy one thing for $1, you say?  It's not so much about the one thing you buy, but what that one thing contains.  Get where I am going h…

Cruelty to Animals

I am not oppose to cruelty to animals.
Case in point....
I know what you are thinking.  "Susan how can you put a shirt on a cat?  That is so cruel!"
That is not the cruel part.  Joey Sparkles has been wearing the shirt all morning without a fuss.
The cruel part is he's actually a Cubs fan.
the thousand and one words i have to say must wait.
some days you just need to cry it out.

When A Boycott Is Not Worth It

You all heard the horrid story, Amazon and their choice of books to allow in their Kindle self-publish store.
And as much as it horrifies and scares me that someone could write about on this subject.
  And as much as I believe in free speech and this is one of those cases that really pushes the limits.
I am not going to talk about either of those things.
This whole boycott call infuriates me.  People calling Amazon, emailing Amazon.  DEMANDING removal of the book.  Writing in the review section how terrible Amazon is and how they are going to BOYCOTT Amazon until they remove the book but not before the drive up the traffic and increase this book's sales.
The truth is IF Amazon decides to remove the book everyone will pat themselves on the back and move on with their life.
But they forget there are still children out there EVERYDAY being abused by people.  Adult people.  Adult people they don't know.  Adult people they do know.  Adult people they trust.
And not enough people ar…


I discovered today this song is about a night-light. And now I want a night-light. And a birdhouse.

Today Laundry, Tomorrow the World

*I am sitting here typing with my feet tucked tightly under my legs.  "Criss-Cross Applesause" my kids would say, I still say Indian-style because you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  I love the way my kids look at me when I say Indian-style.  They are puzzled, like I just spoke some foreign language, words of a time gone by.  I imagine it's the look I had when I moved to Wisconsin from Illinois and all the kids asked to go drink at the "Bubbler" and I called it a water fountain.

*I am sitting here typing with my feet tucked tightly under my legs because I have no clean socks and my feet are freezing. Yesterday I wore a pair of socks I wore the day before.  I sniffed them to make sure they didn't smell too bad.  They were passable.  Now I have no other option but to do a load of laundry today.  And basically the fate of the world rest on the laundry I do or don't do today.  Because I have no clean socks.  And the kids are down to their last clea…

My Christmas Wish List

Today I get semi-selfish and let you know what is on my Christmas wish-list.  As much as I love coming up with what my children need/want for Christmas it is second only to my needs/wants.  In fact throughout the year I think of all those little things that I really want but don't need but if you buy it for me then it's all okay.
So what is on my list this year??

First up....
Is it sad that I am thirty-(cough-cough) and I don't have a cast-iron skillet.  My corn bread batter cries every time I put it in a glass baking dish.  I can hear it.  It is sad.

 I want a Kindle* so bad it hurts.  I dream about holding it and reading.  I dream of going on vacation and finishing a book then going on my wireless connection and downloading another book.  It's good to have dreams.

 You can't have a Kindle without a cute Kindle case and this is the one I wantThis case is made by  Britgal Designs on Etsy. This case is more expensive then other cases I previewed but the fact that …

Why I Will Never Be a Big Name Blogger

I give thought, every once in a harvest moon, about what direction I want to go with my blog.  I don't have a very big audience and I don't work that hard to gain a following.  The truth is I am afraid to work on my blog as a business.  I don't want expectations here because truthfully this is the only place in my life that has no expectations.  I can come as I want and not have to answer to anyone.
Okay, yes I take the occasional review but that is only because I want to.  If I find I don't want to write about a product I receive I won't.  That might not make me popular with PR peeps, but would they rather have a half ass review or a negative review?  At the end of the day I like free stuff and of the hundred review  requests I receive each week  you are lucky if I take one of those opportunities. 
So the other day I was thinking of all the things that make me a no-name, and will continue to keep me in my small blogger shell.  Besides what I stated above this is …

I Voted

Reasons Why I Voted....
Because millions of women suffered in silence not even 100 years ago and worked tirelessly to give me and the women of today a voice.Because today in many countries women still are not given the right to vote.Because I can.I know only three and that's all I need.  And even though it didn't come out how I wanted it, it was so worth it.  Till next time...

Christmas Gift Ideas: Gift Cards and How to Gift Them

I am not big on gift cards.  I get the appeal but I much rather give a gift that a person can hold and use right away.
But sometimes the gift card can't be avoided.
Case in point:  I have a niece who loves to read.  I don't have a list of books that she has and I have a feeling it would take my sister-in-law a good couple hours to form a list of books she owns.  I like my sister-in-law too much to do that to her.
So my only choice for my little-ferocious-reading niece is to give her a gift card so she can buy a book she knows she wants to read.
After I buy a gift card I like to put it in something other then a card.  There is a lot of gift card holders out there, they are cute but not practical, they are never to be used again.
I love the idea of putting a gift card in a new wallet or purse or a pouch....

I love the unique fabric, bright colors and their versatility. I can imagine my niece putting her watercolors or her jewelry or her sewing needles and thread in one of these l…

Facebook. The Other White Meat

Twitter is for blogging and Facebook is for family.  That is my rule.  Mostly because everything that a blogger post on Facebook they also post on Twitter, and I am bombarded twice with information, some I didn't care about the first go round.
Trying to weed through the latest blogging controversy to find out if my cousin had her baby is beyond annoying.  I vowed to keep in simple so I spent a good forty-five minutes deleting every person who had/has a blog from my Facebook friends list last year, it was liberating.
Because of my Facebook snobbery  I feel I am neglecting you my loyal reader from my Facebook gems.  So today, for my list, I will highlight my top 5 favorite Facebook status updates.
What I thought I heard the 4 year old say: "Come upstairs Nolan Jesus is on!" What 4 year old actually said "Come upstairs Nolan Like a G-6 is on."Stupid things to say to a four-year-old: "Come on, let's be reasonable here!"Further proving that I am the rei…