Friday, February 26, 2010

My Blogging Mistakes

I often grow weary of the blogging world.  I look back at all I have done in the past two years and part of me is proud and part of me wants to hide under a blanket.  I made my mistakes.  I have learned from them.

I want to share my top five blogging mistakes.....

1. Not being myself.  There are times I go back to a post and think, "Who wrote that?"  That is never a good sign.  In the beginning I wrote how I felt, in the middle I wrote what I thought everyone wanted me to write.  Now I am finding my way back to the beginning.  I write little now, but I try to write what matters.  I don't write because I have to, I write because I want to and this allows me to be true to myself.

2. Taking on too much. I am a total idea person.  Need a good idea you can come to me.  It's the follow-through that I struggle with.  I always have this notion that I can take in the world, but the world is a heavy thing and it will crush you.

In the beginning opportunities abound and I would not turn one down.  Ideas came to me and I wanted to tackle them, put my ideas in motion.  And I fell, fell hard.  I became resentful of the work.  I thought of quitting, and I did quit.  I quit more things in my blogger life then I have in my real life.  It is almost shameful.

3. Know your true friends.  Blogging friends are a dime a dozen.  True friends are for life.  I perceived many people I met in this virtual world  friends, but truthfully I won't be friends with them in real life.  I won't invite them out for a cup of coffee.  If we didn't talk for a month they would be forgotten.

Then there are those who I can always come to.  Those who I can take a break and come back to, not because I have to, but because my your soul finds its way back.  Friends that make me feel like I am home.

There are few real friends I have kept in these past two years, I can count them on one hand.  People that have been consistent through and through and have stuck when I was not consistent.

I try hard now not to try so hard to be friends with certain people.  If it is going to happen it will happen.

4. Don't look up to people.  This was one of my biggest mistakes.  I spend so much time emulating other that I forgot what this page was all about.  I can't have others writing skills or others stats, I can only have mine.

I get that I should have goals.  But I don't think I should rely on false idols.  I rather have a mentor then someone I look at and wish.  Wish that I had their skills.  Or their blog traffic.  Or their ad space.  It just isn't healthy.

5. Spending too much time online. There were days I went online first thing in the morning and didn't stop till the kids begged for lunch an hour after their designated lunch time.  Shameful.  Blogging is not about the online world.  Blogging is about the outside world and how I deal with it.  It is less about the social media story and more about my story.  You can't share a story unless you lived it.  Lived it away from this small screen and this keyboard.  And then you come back to it.  Know you can always come back to it. 

And now I will live it.  And when I have a story to share I will come back.
Till next time.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Little Help

I am not a blogger who asks for much, just that you read my weekly post.  But today I need your help.  Well I don't really need your help, but someone very close to me does.
My Uncle who was paralyzed in the line of duty and his new bride are looking to win the wedding of their dreams.  If you could take a few minutes and go over to Crate and Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest and vote I'd appreciate it!  They are already legally married, but their wedding was in the hospital when my Uncle woke up from his coma, and they deserve more then that! 
 Yes, you have to enter your e-mail and verify it- which I know take more then a minute but it is for a good cause.
And thank you!   If I can repay the favor but voting for you or your special cause, let me know!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Counting Calories

 Life is pretty boring.  The only thing that really has changed around here is our quest to eat healthier. Just what you wanna hear about, calorie counting and my silent prayers to STOP feeling hungry all the time.  I know it takes time for the body to adjust, I just wish it would do it NOW!   Hungry Mom=Cranky Mom.
What makes all this healthy eating easier is that the husband is in on it too.  A team, except he gets to eat more calories a day and that makes me a little resentful.  I really don't care if he is bigger, when he gets a second taco and I have to do that whole willpower thing I want to stab him in the stomach.
Some things you notice when you're watching your weight is the prime-time food commercials.  No food is to touch these lips after 7 pm and all I see is cheeseburgers and cheddar bay biscuits.  It is a great conspiracy.  These restaurants know people are on diets, they know the rules.  They also know hell knows no fury like a dieter tempted by sweet, sweet delicious salty covered french fries, potatoes deep fried greasy stain on a brown paper bag goodness ummmmmmm............
Whoo.....sorry got caught up there for a second.
This dietary interruptus could be the death of healthy eating and me.
I combat these devil commercials by either putting in a DVD or shutting off the TV completely and hitting the sack.  Going to bed before ten hasn't been bad for our mornings, just bad for my pop culture addiction. I hate not knowing what everyone is talking about on Twitter the next morning. 
That is it for now, if you have any tips, recipes clue me in.  

Monday, February 15, 2010

My Everyday

I have been uninspired lately.  Or just plain lazy.  Or not feeling like sharing my daily struggles of getting a six year old out of bed, dressed, fed breakfast, off to school, do homework, go to bed, everyday.  Because something happens when they're six.  Six means to challenge everything.  It is sending my mommy-sanity out the door, she's tired of the screaming, crying and pouting.
We now have this little-big six year old boy-man in a reading tutor program, which starts at 7:30 am.  This is all for his own good, but getting him out the door before 7:50 a.m. was a struggle, minus twenty minutes will prove to be a real strain on that above mentioned mommy-sanity.
The three-year old has turned into her favorite fictional character "Matilda."  We haven't read the book, just watched the movie.
My little Matilda craves independence and uses her hero's example to shun my assistance.  I could enjoy a nice day away at Bingo, or maybe I could entertain some speed boat salesmen, but sadly anxiety keeps me by her side.  Watching, waiting.  waiting.  Nothing. All on her own she does almost everything.  Almost.
During the day she is Little Miss Independent.  During the day he is Little-Big Man.   At night she turns back into my baby,  and he turns into my little boy.
Her and I  play a game of "I love you more...."  "I love you more the ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles" I say.   "I love you more then strawberries," she answers back
"Goodnight best mom in the world" he says to me as I leave the room.  "Goodnight best son in the world." I reply. 
This is my life everyday.  Boring and somehow entertaining as I go back and read.  I hope you enjoy.  And maybe you can share your everyday with me.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Anxious Still but Not Taking it Lying Down

I am still here. In Real Life stuff has taken over and I have been living it and not documenting it. It is a good thing and a bad thing. Because as much as I love living, I still enjoying looking back and remembering.
These past weeks have been spent planning and putting on a fundraiser for Meg's school. And I did it. A to Z, with a breakdown between M and N and S and T, but I did it.
It is kind of a big deal for me. I am looking at this accomplishment as a big deal. Because so many times I wanted to quit, have I ever mentioned I am good at quitting, cause I am. But I didn't. The anxiety got to me. That's anxiety for you, it is the devil on your shoulder reminding you that the work is too hard. And telling you you can't do the things deep down you know you can do.
Anxiety makes your heart clinch and your palms sweat. It makes you doubt yourself, and beats you down and then pummels a little more.
But I made it through. And I finished it. And I did it.
Of course not by myself. I had help, which of course was the other big deal cause I asked for help. I was on a roll.
Take that anxiety.


Yesterday was long but I made sure I did one me thing.  I'm trying it more.  Making it so I do one thing I want to do, not have to do or...